she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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