tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i may or may not be watching the land before time
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
