SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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