Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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