Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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