i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
