This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
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The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
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I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."