i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!