Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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