Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My pussy is not your playground.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.