hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
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you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
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It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.