Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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