When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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