Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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