Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
