Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
