there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
vagina is talking i cant
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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