He asked to "fluff my boner.."
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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