I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
