We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
