One girl and one boy is just not enough.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
