if i can run in heels then i can drive
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
