i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
