I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
