Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
