he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
