Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
