it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
