Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
