and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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