either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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