You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
