At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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