yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
