I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
