I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
