I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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