He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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