To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
