and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He has the fingertips of a God
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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