That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
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sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
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I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
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