she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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