I'm really into asian looking animals
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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