Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
