Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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