I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
