last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
