i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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