their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
