He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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