you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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