there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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