Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
