my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
