I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize