'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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