Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
