White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
