i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
