that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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