Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
