I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
