So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
