I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
