did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
