Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
